O'er and O'er Again

I'm looking into hiring a staff for the following:

- Laundry
- Sweeping cereal and rice off the kitchen floor

- Cleaning the toothpaste out of the sink after Carter "washes his hands" (?)

- Buying new toothpaste

- Picking up Hungry Hungry Hippo marbles off the floor

- Wiping little, lotion-y handprints off the TV screen

- Retrieving sippie cups from under the couch and dumping out old juice/milk/etc.

- Reminding Mason that "But I was just..." IS arguing

- Reminding Carter that he can't sit on the TV cabinet to watch TV

- Pushing in the bottom drawer of Jas's dresser

- Turning off every light between the living room and bathroom

- Throwing away empty boxes that have been left in the pantry

- Cutting the boys' hair and clipping their nails

- Putting on Carter's Pull Up and pajama pants ten times after he gets out of bed to "go potty"

- Laundry

Applicants should send a resume and references to my email address
(Note: The list above is not a complete job description, but a small sample of required duties.)